My buddy said, 'Give me a hand job, I’m on a roll.' I said, 'I can't help you there, I just woke up.'

My gay friend texted me, 'I need a hand job, like, now.' I said, 'I can't help you there, I’m too tired to even move.'

My brother asked, 'You gonna help me out?' I said, 'I can't help you there, I’m still eating my breakfast.'