My boss just texted me: 'You’re on call tonight.' I replied: 'I can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days.'

At the bar, my friend said, 'I’m going to hell.' I said, 'You can’t. You’ve got meetings tomorrow.'

My mom called me and said, 'I’m going to hell.' I said, 'You’re not. You got a PTA meeting.'