I am on a FBI watchlist - a phrase to say you're so reckless the FBI is like your mom

a phrase to say you're so reckless the FBI is like your mom but with more power and a badge

I am on a FBI watchlist because I drove my mom’s car to the mall and came back with a shopping bag full of candy.

I am on a FBI watchlist because I told the cops I’m the next Batman.

I am on a FBI watchlist because I took the school’s goldfish and put it in a soda bottle.