I almost shed a tear. - You were about to cry. Then you decided to be a f***ing man

You were about to cry. Then you decided to be a f***ing man about it.

My dad left me. I almost cried. Then I told him I'd be rich and famous one day.

I failed my test. I almost cried. Then I told my teacher to go f*** herself.

I got stuck in traffic. I almost cried. Then I yelled at the car in front of me.