H.D.(HUMPTY DUMPTY)
H. D. is a big bald guy who brags about his ancient military job that nobody cares about, and he wants to kiss John Cary's butt. He also sleeps with his cat Wanda.
H. D. just said he fought in the War of the Napkins. Nobody knows what that means.
John Cary now has a medal for surviving H. D.'s stories.
Wanda the cat now has a badge that says 'Chief Cat Officer'.