Hairy Plotter - Someone who's plotting to lose their pubic hair but hasn't g

Someone who's plotting to lose their pubic hair but hasn't gotten the razor yet.

I'm a hairy plotter. I've got a plan, but no tools.

I'm a hairy plotter. My plot is real, but my hair is still in charge.

I’m a hairy plotter. I’ve got the scheme, but no shave.