Hairy Malteaser
Your jizz-soaked sack is so hairy and gross it looks like a hairy malteaser. Happens when Liz or Samantha drag you out on a Tuesday.
My sack is a hairy malteaser after that long day at work.
Samantha called my hairy malteaser the worst she’s ever seen.
Liz took a selfie with my hairy malteaser and laughed for ten minutes.