hairy gumdrops
aka the meaty mess you get when you're born with a face full of nuts and a body that looks like it's been through a war
My uncle's hairy gumdrops look like a used sock from the bottom of a closet.
That guy’s hairy gumdrops are so big, they have their own zip code.
I saw his hairy gumdrops and immediately knew he was the worst kind of man.