Hairtopping
It’s when someone takes a hair from their nutsack or head and sticks it on food like it’s a fancy topping and you’re just a dumb spectator.
Sally: I hairtopped my fries and now I’m the queen of the cafeteria.
Derek: I hairtopped my sandwich and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
Cindy: Why would you hairtop my soup? You’re a stupid human.