hairist
A hairist is someone who thinks their hair is so perfect that everyone else's is a disaster.
'Your hair is pink? I can't even look at you!' said the hairist in the hallway.
At recess, the hairist said, 'Your hair is blue, and it's the worst thing I've ever seen.'
The hairist texted me, 'Your hair is green, and it's like a crime against humanity.'