hair turd
A hair turd is when your cat vomits up a hair ball so big and gross it looks like your dog took a dump in your face and then laughed at you.
My cat puked up a hair ball the size of a football and it landed in my cereal.
That hair ball looked like my dog crapped in my face and then took a selfie.
The hair ball was so big, it looked like my dog had a bad day and crapped on my shoes.