hair doula
A woman who knows more about your hair than your ex. She helps you achieve your hair goals, even if you’re too lazy to follow the instructions.
My hair doula said my hair was ‘a mess of bad decisions.’ I took that as a compliment and bought her a latte.
She said I needed a ‘hair detox’ because I used ‘too many products.’ I now have a $200 hair mask and a new enemy.
She told me I had ‘the potential to be a legend.’ I now think she’s lying and I’m still ugly.