Hair Cretin
The only people who don’t hate your hair are you and your imaginary friend.
You say your hair is ‘fierce.’ Your imaginary friend says it’s ‘fancy.’ The rest of us say it’s ‘frightening.’
Your hair looks like it was attacked by a vacuum. Only you and your imaginary friend think it’s cool.
You say your hair is ‘epic.’ Your imaginary friend says it’s ‘excellent.’ The world says it’s ‘extinct.’