Hair Compensation Syndrome
When a guy starts losing hair and tries to hide it with wild sideburns or a stupid beard, like he’s trying to cover up his mistake.
My uncle’s mustache is so huge it looks like he’s trying to start a fight with his face.
My mom’s dad had a goatee so long it looked like it was trying to escape.
My friend’s sideburns are so long they could be used as a ladder.