Hair Compensation Syndrome
A balding person who grows sideburns, beards, or goatees to distract people from their bald spot, like they’re trying to fool a kid.
My dad has a beard so messy it looks like a dog rolled in a trash can.
My neighbor’s goatee is so long it’s trying to take over his face.
My brother’s sideburns are so thick they could be used as a curtain.