Hair Casserole
A bunch of hairs stuck to your gaper like a rug made of pubic hair that’s been dragged through a bunghole.
My hair casserole is so bad, my neighbor thinks I’m growing hair out of my bunghole.
My cousin’s hair casserole is so bad, it’s like a hairball that’s been dipped in bunghole juice.
My hair casserole is so bad, I think I’ve been using my bunghole as a hair dryer.