haimish

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Super Jewish in a way that makes your grandma blush and your uncle scream about gefilte fish at 2 a. m.

My cousin’s haimish vibe is like a matzah ball soup commercial but with more yelling.

She only wears a knitted sweater and talks about the old country like it’s a dating app.

He texted me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat borscht at 11 p. m. and cry about my cousin’s divorce.’

So Jewish it could’ve been born in a bris and cried at the bar mitzvah.

My aunt is haimish, she thinks the word ‘schmooze’ is a type of cereal.

He wears a yarmulke on the weekends and talks to his plants in Yiddish.

She DM’d me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat challah for dinner and argue with my mom about the oven temperature.’

So Jewish it could’ve been the reason your mom forgot to bring the ketchup to the Passover dinner.

My cousin is haimish, he wears a sweater every day and knows the exact price of a bagel from 1982.

She told me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat chicken soup and cry about my brother’s dating life.’

He texts me at 3 a. m. about his cousin’s marriage and how it’s ‘not haimish enough.’

So Jewish it could’ve been the reason your grandfather’s parsnip soup tastes like regret.

My uncle is haimish, he thinks ‘schmooze’ is a type of wine and argues with the TV about the weather.

She told me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat kugel at 10 p. m. and talk about my mom’s old boyfriend.’

He posted on Twitter: ‘I’m haimish, I eat blintzes and argue with my sister about the size of her nose.’

So Jewish it could’ve been the reason your mom’s knitted sweater has 42 buttons and a grudge.

My cousin’s haimish, she only eats bagels on Sundays and talks to her plants in Yiddish.

He told me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat borscht and argue with my dad about the size of the challah.’

She DM’d me: ‘I’m haimish, I eat chicken soup at 11 p. m. and cry about my brother’s bad dating life.’