Hag Hair
Your hair looks like it was dragged through a mud puddle after you had sex, and no one noticed it until you walked into the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen, and my dad said, 'Did you fall into a mud puddle? Or was it a person?'
My hair looked like I had a mud bath and a lover fight.
She said, 'You look like you ran through a mud puddle and had a lover fight.'