Hag Doll

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A crumpled-up old woman who wears enough makeup to blind a cow, still tries to flirt with teenagers, and smells like expired pizza.

My aunt is a Hag Doll. She wore a full face of glitter and tried to chat up my barista.

That Hag Doll in the mall tried to hit on my dad. He looked like he was about to cry.

My mom’s friend is a Hag Doll. She wears a wig, a skirt that’s too short, and a shirt that’s too tight.

A grandma who looks like she fell into a makeup box, still thinks she’s hot, and has the confidence of a raccoon on a dare.

My neighbor’s a Hag Doll. She wore a full face of eye shadow and tried to seduce my dad.

That Hag Doll at the grocery store tried to flirt with the cashier. He looked confused.

My grandpa’s ex is a Hag Doll. She wore a wig and a dress that looked like it came from the 80s.

An old lady who looks like she was painted by a toddler, still tries to act like a young woman, and has the body of a confused sock.

My uncle’s mom is a Hag Doll. She wore too much eyeliner and tried to chat up my cousin.

That Hag Doll at the park tried to flirt with my dad. He looked like he was about to run.

My mom’s friend is a Hag Doll. She wore a wig, a skirt that was too short, and a shirt that was too tight.