hag along

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A hag along is a woman who clings to gay men like they're the last piece of pizza, and she doesn’t care if they’re screaming at her or ignoring her.

'I’m not following him just because he’s cute, I’m following him because he’s my emotional support fag.'

'I’m here for the drama, the eye-rolling, and the free snacks.'

'If he doesn’t text me back, I’m going to show up at his apartment with a bag of chips and a death threat.'

A hag along is like a fag hag’s sidekick, but instead of being cool, they’re the one who trips over the fag hag’s feet and spills the coffee.

'I didn’t fall on purpose, I just had bad balance and a bad life.'

'I spilled coffee on him, then I spilled coffee on myself, then I spilled coffee on his best friend.'

'I’m not a sidekick, I’m the main event.'