Hacking and whacking

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13 views · Added 2mo ago · 6 definitions

1
Life’s a bumpy ride and you’re the guy who keeps crashing into it like it’s a meatball sandwich and you’re the guy who eats it with a fork and a curse.
I failed my math test 7 times but I still show up every day like I’m the king of the dumpster.
My dog ran away 3 times but I still chase him like he’s my last chicken nugget.
I tried to start a band and got laughed out of 5 open mics, but I still show up wearing socks as headphones.
2
You’re the kind of person who fights with a sword made of pizza boxes and a shield made of curses.
I got fired 3 times but still show up at work like I own the place and the boss owes me a sandwich.
I tried to start a garden and killed every plant, but I still keep digging like it’s a treasure hunt.
I tried to learn how to dance and failed every lesson, but I still twirl like I’m on a sugar high.
3
You’re like the guy who gets kicked out of every bar but still shows up with a bottle of cheap whiskey and a death wish.
I tried to be a DJ and messed up every beat like it was a math test and I was the kid who didn’t study.
I failed my driving test 10 times but still show up like I’m the king of the road and the car is my throne.
I tried to write a book and got 20 rejections but still write like I’m getting paid in donuts.
4
You’re like the kid who got sent to the principal’s office 10 times but still showed up with a bag of snacks and a plan to take over the school.
I failed my science project 5 times but still showed up like I was going to win the Nobel Prize and the teacher was my enemy.
I tried to become a magician and failed every trick like it was a cursed hat and I was the guy who got cursed.
I tried to start a business and got 7 rejections but still showed up like I was the CEO of the universe.
5
You’re the kind of person who eats a whole pizza in one sitting and still has the energy to curse the world for not being as delicious.
I tried to be a singer and got laughed out of 6 open mics but still sang like I was the voice of God.
I tried to be a chef and burned every dish like it was my last hope and the oven was my enemy.
I tried to start a YouTube channel and got 500 views but still posted like I was going to be famous.
6
You’re like the dog who got run over by a truck but still ran after it like it was a toy and he was the king of the street.
I failed my spelling test 10 times but still showed up like I was going to win a trophy and the teacher was my enemy.
I tried to be a gamer and got beaten by 20 people but still played like I was the last man standing.
I tried to be a teacher and got 30 kids who hated me but still taught like I was the king of the classroom.
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