Habitual masturbator - When you get so used to jerking off that your brain thinks i

When you get so used to jerking off that your brain thinks it's the only way to get through the day.

I don't even need coffee anymore. I just need my morning cumshot.

My mom walked in on me while I was eating breakfast. She said, 'You're not even eating, you're just trying to survive.'

I had a meeting at work, but my hand started moving on its own. I was the only one who didn't know why.