Habitual masturbator

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A person who can't stop touching their junk, even if it means dying in the middle of a video game.

I got a 99% on my math test, but I still had to finish my cumshot before bed.

My dad found me jerking off in the cereal aisle. He said, 'You're not a kid anymore, you're a snack.'

I tried to finish my homework, but my hand wouldn't stop moving. It's like it has a life of its own.

When you get so used to jerking off that your brain thinks it's the only way to get through the day.

I don't even need coffee anymore. I just need my morning cumshot.

My mom walked in on me while I was eating breakfast. She said, 'You're not even eating, you're just trying to survive.'

I had a meeting at work, but my hand started moving on its own. I was the only one who didn't know why.