Ha qalanqas
A Maltese phrase that’s like saying ‘not even close’ but with a side of disrespect. It means ‘not haqq alla’ and is used when someone’s behavior is so bad it makes your grandfather’s ghost roll his eyes.
‘He said he’d fix the roof. Ha qalanqas he fixed it with a hammer and a curse.’
‘I gave her a 10 out of 10. She gave me ha qalanqas and said I was a 2 out of 10 with a bad attitude.’
‘He said he’d be here by 9. Ha qalanqas he showed up at 11 with a donut and a side of laziness.’