g.i. joe kung foo grip

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a legendary hand job technique used by women in long beach to make guys scream like they’re dying

My aunt does the G. I. Joe Kung Foo Grip and I swear my uncle turned into a statue.

That grip is so good, my cousin’s boyfriend had to take a lunch break just to catch his breath.

My mom said if I didn’t stop teasing her, she’d use the G. I. Joe Kung Foo Grip on me.

a secret move used by women in long beach to make guys feel like they’ve been tortured by a ninja

My brother’s girlfriend used the G. I. Joe Kung Foo Grip and he cried like a baby.

I saw my neighbor doing it to her husband, and he looked like he was about to die.

My dad said if I didn’t behave, he’d teach me the G. I. Joe Kung Foo Grip.

a crazy hand job move that makes guys feel like they’re getting attacked by a bunch of monkeys

My cousin’s girlfriend used the G. I. Joe Kung Foo Grip and he ran out of the room screaming.

My mom told me if I didn’t do my homework, she’d use it on me.

My friend’s dad said he’s been using it for 20 years and still can’t catch his breath.