G.I. butt wipe
Soldiers back in the war only had 10 little squares of toilet paper. To wipe their butts, they’d fold the paper, poke their finger through the middle, and yank it like they were pulling a f***ing plug. They’d throw the used paper away and use the piece they ripped off to clean under their fingernails like they were cleaning a toilet.
My brother once tried to do the G. I. butt wipe and ended up with a paper stuck to his finger for a week.
My friend’s dog used to steal his toilet paper and try to eat it like it was a treat.
My uncle says he still smells like war every time he uses the G. I. butt wipe method.