Galloping Gobbler
When someone gets on all fours on a treadmill and crawls toward your crotch like it’s a treasure map, while eating your junk like it’s a taco.
My boss did it in the office and forgot to turn the treadmill off. The whole floor heard it.
He said it was ‘the best workout ever’, then I saw him crying.
She did it in the break room and left a trail of saliva on the floor.