Gagged Out
A person so wasted on meth they think they’re the president, but really they’re just screaming at the ceiling and eating expired cereal.
My neighbor’s been shouting at his TV for three days straight. He thinks it’s a spaceship.
He texted me: 'I just talked to my dead dog. He said he wants a sandwich.'
He tried to open a bank vault with a spoon and got locked in.