Gag fagger
A man who's too drunk to think straight and thinks the whole world should help him with his girl issues.
"Why won't she text me back? I'm drunk!", said while eating cereal at 1 PM.
"I called my mom for advice. She said I'm a mess.", said while still in pajamas.
"The Internet is my best friend. It's also my punching bag.", said after 10 failed dating apps.