Gabhain
An old Irish guy who thinks he's the king of the hairdressers because he drives their cars and thinks they're gay. He's mostly just confused and has no idea what he's doing.
"Why do you think I'm the king? I drive their cars!", Gabhain at a bar, mid-drink.
"I don't know what being gay is, but I know I'm not it.", Gabhain, trying to explain his life.
"I thought I was alpha male, but now I'm just old and confused.", Gabhain, after a long night of driving hairdressers around."