Gabbatuban

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

1
A fake friend who laughs in your face but cusses you out behind your back
I told them I flunked math and they said 'whatever' but then I heard them say 'that idiot failed math' in the hallway.
They said they'd cover for me when I skipped class, but I heard them tell the teacher I was 'a lazy piece of trash'.
I dropped my phone in the toilet and they said 'no big deal' but I heard them say 'that clumsy bastard ruined my phone'.
2
A friend who eats your lunch but tells the cafeteria you're a 'disgusting human being'
They took my pizza and said it was 'too greasy' but I heard them say 'that loser can't even eat pizza right' in the lunch line.
They took my snack and said 'I'll take it' but I heard them say 'that idiot's snack is worse than mine' at the table.
They took my juice and said 'I need this' but I heard them say 'that clumsy bastard spilled his juice everywhere'.
3
A friend who takes your seat but says you're 'too slow to get there first'
They sat in my seat and said 'you're too slow' but I heard them say 'that idiot can't even get to class on time' in the hallway.
They took my seat and said 'you're lazy' but I heard them say 'that clumsy bastard's seat is the best one' at lunch.
They sat in my seat and said 'you're a disgrace' but I heard them say 'that idiot can't even sit properly' at the bus.
4
A friend who tells the teacher you're 'a problem' but eats your lunch and steals your seat
They told the teacher I was 'a problem' but I saw them eat my lunch at the table.
They told the teacher I was 'a disgrace' but I saw them sit in my seat during class.
They told the teacher I was 'a mess' but I saw them take my snack and say 'that idiot's snack is terrible'.
5
A friend who says they're your best friend but they're the reason you got detention
They said they're my best friend but I got detention because they told the teacher I was 'a mess' during class.
They said they're my best friend but I got detention because they said I 'cheated on my test' during lunch.
They said they're my best friend but I got detention because they told the teacher I was 'a lazy piece of trash'.
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