G-spot shuffle
A guy with a bendy sausage in dog position uses his thumb to rummage in the back door and rub it on the bendy sausage.
He said it was like a treasure hunt and I said it was like being tortured by a monkey with a spatula.
She called it the 'sausage shuffle' and I called it the 'worst kind of torture.'
He kept saying 'I'm finding gold!' while I was screaming 'I'm finding pain!'