I matched with a guy who said he was in jail for 10 years. I asked him, 'Why are you here?' He said, 'I needed a break from the noise.'

She said she only dates people with tattoos. I showed her my bicep. She said, 'That's cute. But I need a dragon.'

He asked me if I had a hood. I said no. He said, 'Then you're not a real g.'