G. Edward
G. Edward is the reason your life is a mess. He shows up when you least expect it and acts like he’s the king of the world. He’s got a yellow straw hat and a brain that’s so big it should be its own country. He’s your boyfriend and he won’t shut up.
He showed up at my birthday and said he was my dad.
He told my mom he was my stepdad and he was 10 years older.
He wore his hat in the microwave and called it 'heat therapy.'