Your cousin's post: 'I’m going to the beach!' I comment: 'You’re going to the beach? You’re just going to sit there and stare at the water like it’s your job.'

Your neighbor's status: 'I love my cat!' I reply: 'You love your cat? That cat probably hates you.'

Your teacher's post: 'I’m excited for the weekend!' I comment: 'You’re excited? You’re just trying to convince yourself you’re not a workaholic.'