Your friend's post: 'I’m going to the gym!' I reply: 'You’re going to the gym? That’s just your way of saying you’re too lazy to actually work out.'

Your brother's status: 'I’m rich!' I comment: 'You’re rich? You just got a job at McDonald’s.'

Your mom's post: 'I’m fine!' I reply: 'You’re fine? You look like you just cried for three hours.'