F.M.O.T.

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A phony Jew who thinks they're in the club but really ain't. They just want your money and your respect.

'I'm not just a Fake Member of the Tribe, I'm the whole damn tribe.'

He tried to pass off his bagel as a real one. It was just a croissant with a bad attitude.

She said she was from Israel. I asked where. She said 'the mall.'

A fraud who thinks being Jewish is like getting a free pass to the buffet. They’re fake, and they know it.

'I'm not fake, I'm just... mildly Jewish.'

He tried to convince the barista he was a real Jew. She said, 'You’re just a guy who likes lox.'

He said he was from the Tribe. I said, 'You’re from the fake tribe.'

A fake Jew who thinks they're cool because they know what a kippah is. They're not. They're just sad.

'I wear a kippah every day. I’m not fake. I’m just... slightly fake.'

She tried to impress me with her kippah. I asked if it was real. She said, 'It’s fake, but it’s fancy.'

He said he was Jewish. I said, 'You’re a F. M. O. T. and you don’t even know what a bagel is.'

A person who claims to be Jewish but only knows the basics. Like, they know about the holidays but not the pain.

'I’m not fake, I’m just... slightly less fake than my cousin.'

He said he was Jewish. I said, 'You’re a F. M. O. T. and you don’t even know what Passover is.'

She said she was from the Tribe. I said, 'You’re from the fake tribe, and you’re still confused about the holidays.'

A fake Jew who thinks they're in on the secret. They're not. They're just trying to get into the group chat.

'I’m not fake. I just haven’t been invited to the group chat yet.'

He tried to join the group chat. I said, 'You’re a F. M. O. T. and you don’t even know the password.'

She said she was Jewish. I said, 'You’re fake, and you’re not even in the group chat.'

A fake Jew who thinks they’re in the club, but they’re just trying to make it look cool.

'I’m not fake. I’m just... slightly less cool than my cousin.'

He tried to make his bagel look fancy. It was just a regular bagel with a bad attitude.

She said she was from the Tribe. I said, 'You’re fake, and you’re still trying to make it look cool.'