'My dog ate my homework. My ex is back. My mom is yelling at me. Also I'm crying. Also I'm posting this at 2 AM.'

'I'm broke. I'm single. I'm sad. I'm still friends with you. Also I'm posting this because I have nothing better to do.'

'I got dumped. I got fired. I got a tattoo of my ex's name. Also I'm still friends with you. Also I'm still posting about it.'