Faceturbating - Stalking your own Facebook profile like you’re a detective.

Stalking your own Facebook profile like you’re a detective. You check every post, like, comment, and photo. You’re obsessed with yourself.

I stalked my own profile 17 times today. I found out I like myself more than my ex.

I checked my Facebook profile during lunch. Now I have 0 friends and 20 likes.

I stalked my own profile so much, I got a notification from Facebook. It said, 'Are you sure you're not a ghost?'