faceturbate - You're a weirdo who checks your own Facebook profile like it

You're a weirdo who checks your own Facebook profile like it's a crime scene. You're probably checking for clues about your own life.

I checked my own Facebook and saw I had 2 likes on a post I made 5 years ago. I cried.

I stalk my own profile like it's a spy mission. I'm not crazy, I'm just dedicated.

I posted a photo of myself eating pizza and I liked it 17 times. I'm a monster.