facetiometer

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A fancy tool that tells how much of a snarky, mean, and rude person someone is based on what they write.

Your mom's text: 'Yeah, I'm fine. Just got bit by a spider that had a vendetta.'

Your teacher's email: 'I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. And I’m charging you $10 for this.'

Your friend's tweet: 'I’m not lazy. I’m just in energy-saving mode.'

A machine that reads your text and gives you a number based on how much of a jerk you sound like.

Your dad's message: 'I didn’t say you were stupid. I just said you were the worst choice.'

Your boss’s Slack message: 'I’m not yelling. I’m just speaking loudly.'

Your ex’s Instagram story: 'I didn’t break up with you. You just took a long vacation.'

A thing that checks how much of a rude, sarcastic, and disrespectful person you are by looking at your words.

Your neighbor’s text: 'Oh, I didn’t say your dog was ugly. I just said it was a work in progress.'

Your mom’s voice mail: 'I didn’t say you failed. I said you got a D, and that’s not even the worst grade.'

Your friend’s DM: 'I didn’t say you were a failure. I said you were a very tired person.'

A device that rates how much of a smug, sarcastic, and annoying person you are when you type.

Your coworker’s email: 'I didn’t say you were lazy. I said you were just on a coffee break.'

Your brother’s text: 'I didn’t say you were a failure. I said you were just slightly behind.'

Your crush’s tweet: 'I didn’t say you were boring. I said you were just doing your thing.'

A gadget that tells how much of a smug, mean, and sarcastic person you are just by looking at your messages.

Your teacher’s comment: 'I didn’t say you were a disaster. I said you were a work in progress.'

Your best friend’s message: 'I didn’t say you were a mess. I said you were just having a bad day.'

Your crush’s message: 'I didn’t say you were boring. I said you were just slightly interesting.'