faceologist
a person who looks at your face like it's a crime scene and tries to make it look like it didn't get shot
My faceologist thought my lips were 'too angry.' I told him to go back to his crime scene.
He tried to fix my eyes with 'face tape.' It looked like I had a broken nose and a bad attitude.
She told me my nose was 'too loud.' I told her to shut up and leave.