faceknife
A faceknife is when you’re so shocked by how dumb something is that you imagine stabbing your face just to make the stupidity stop. It’s like a facepalm, but way worse.
I faceknifed when my boss told me to email the cat.
My friend faceknifed when his ex came back with a new guy and a parrot.
I faceknifed during the Zoom call when the guy started singing opera.