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A person who hits 'Attending' on Facebook for every event they're invited to, even if it's at 2 a. m. on a Tuesday and they're still hungover from the last one.
I'm attending the pool party. I haven't seen the inside of a pool since 2012.
I'm attending the birthday bash. I'm not even sure I know this person.
I'm attending the funeral. I didn't even know this person was alive.