Facebook Jizz
When someone who’s been MIA for months suddenly comes out of nowhere and likes every post you made like you just got a raise and a free pizza.
"You posted this 4 weeks ago?", Your ex who still thinks you’re cool
"This is the best post I’ve ever seen.", Your gym buddy who only uses Facebook to post selfies
"Why didn’t you tell me you were still alive?", Your old friend who thought you got hit by a bus