Facebook Display of Affection

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

When loudmouths can't keep their love lives to themselves and post every stupid detail on Facebook for everyone to see.

My wife and I went to a movie. He posted 12 photos. I had to leave the theater.

She texted me, 'I love you.' He posted it on Facebook. I texted her back, 'I hate you.'

He sent me a 5-minute video of his dog and his girlfriend hugging. I cried.

When people think their relationship is the most important thing in the world and post about it every 5 minutes.

They got engaged. He posted 100 photos. I got a headache.

She said, 'I miss you.' He posted it. I said, 'I miss my peace.'

He sent me a message: 'She smiled at me.' I replied: 'I’ve had enough.'

When people are too dumb to keep their feelings private and show them off to the whole world on Facebook.

They went on a date. He posted 20 photos. I got a migraine.

She said, 'He's the best.' He posted it. I said, 'He’s the worst.'

He sent me a voice note: 'She's amazing.' I said, 'She’s annoying.'

When people act like they're famous and post every little thing about their love life on Facebook like it's a news broadcast.

They had a coffee. He posted a 10-photo story. I got a headache.

She said, 'We kissed.' He posted it. I said, 'I’m done.'

He texted me: 'She said I’m cute.' I replied: 'You’re not.'

When people think they're the only ones in the world and post their love lives like it's a public service announcement.

They went for a walk. He posted 7 photos. I got a migraine.

She said, 'He's kind.' He posted it. I said, 'He’s loud.'

He sent me a message: 'We’re happy.' I said, 'We’re all tired.'

When people are too self-centered to keep their love lives to themselves and post everything on Facebook like it's a highlight reel.

They had dinner. He posted 15 photos. I got a headache.

She said, 'We’re in love.' He posted it. I said, 'We’re all done.'

He texted me: 'She’s my everything.' I replied: 'She’s my nightmare.'