Facebitcher
A fake friend who only talks to you on Facebook and never actually calls you or texts you unless it's to complain about their life.
Hey, I just got dumped. And I hate my life. And I'm still wearing yesterday's pants.
I'm bored. My life is a lie. And I'm still wearing yesterday's pants.
Hey, you're my friend. Why don't you call me? I'm busy dying.