face wreath
A face wreath is when a guy has a beard that looks like it was grown in a swamp and hair that flops around like it’s crying. It’s the kind of look that makes people want to run away.
My uncle’s face wreath is so bad, his kids call him ‘The Hair Monster’.
My gym teacher’s face wreath is so thick, it looks like he’s wearing a wig made of spaghetti.
My dad’s face wreath is so ugly, my mom says he should just wear a hat and be done with it.