face-shpucha
Face-shpucha are your fake friends who only like your posts when they want something from you or when you're in trouble.
"I asked my face-shpucha for help, and they only liked my post when I posted about my mom."
"My face-shpucha liked my post when I posted about my cat dying. They didn’t like it when I posted about my job."
"They liked my post when I posted about my breakup. They didn’t like it when I posted about my new job."