face pet
A man’s beard, especially when it looks like a raccoon stole a bar of soap and took a nap in it. Also known as Jake Gyllenhaal’s face after he forgot to shave and looked like he got into a fight with a pillow.
My dad’s face pet looks like he got stuck in a bush and forgot to come out.
Jake Gyllenhaal’s face pet is so legendary, it should have its own Wikipedia page.
My uncle’s face pet is so wild, it scares the dogs.